2017年06月08日

page 8. Prescribed Dialogues: Knowing What to Say Next

Prescribed Dialogues: Knowing What to Say Next

In Japan, there are many occasions for gift-giving, from money given to children at New Year's (otoshidama) to gifts of appreciation given at the end of the year (oseibo).
On an informal occasion the receiver can simply say, "Thank you !(arigatou)" and receive the gift.
But on formal occasions protocol demands an intricate dialogue to be carried out in a very prescribed manner.
When presenting a gift, the giver is expected to insist that it is not good enough for the receiver or may not suit his or her taste.
In turn, the receiver must reject the negative remarks made by the giver, declaring what an excellent or well-chosen gift it is, or insisting that it is more than he or she deserves.
Those words are exchanged in an almost ritualized fashion.
But it is not that they are uttered insincerely; the act of going through the prescribed dialogue itself is an expression of sincerity and gratitude.
There are many other instances of prescribed dialogues that must be followed when something is being offered.
Whenever you are offered a second serving of food or drink, payment for a dinner eaten together, or even a compliment, it is good manners in Japan to decline the offer or compliment at least once or twice, before being "forced" to accept it.
By going through the prescribed dialogue for each occasion, both sides affirm to each other that they know the rules of the game, i.e., the appropriate social exchange, and that they are sincerely playing their role in the social exchange.
These prescribed dialogues can be thought of as deriving form the "similarity assumption": you can count on your counterpart to give the next proper response in the dialogue because you are both literally "on the same page."
And indeed when you discover that the other person does not know the established script and fails to adhere to the prescribed dialogue, you become at a loss as to how to proceed.
Of course, it is on surprise that such a violation of expectation is likely to occur when the counterpart is a non-Japanese who does not share the similarity assumption with you.
So it is rather ironic that Japanese people become so bewildered when familiar scripts are not followed outside Japan.
For example, we some times hear of Japanese people going to bed hungry when staying as a guest in an American home because the host offered a second helping of food only once.
Expecting a second or third offer ti be made, the Japanese guest probably declined after the first offer just as he or she would in Japan by saying, " No, thank you." But in the US, a "No" is taken to mean "No", and considered final.
Once you decline, your wishes will be honored out of respect for you as a guest, and you're unlikely to be given a second offer.
This example shows how a lack of awareness of your own expectations on how a conversation will go can get you in trouble in an international setting.
posted by noraneko9999 at 16:08| Comment(0) | 自己学習 | このブログの読者になる | 更新情報をチェックする

ベトナム下町の朝食風景bữa ăn sáng.Nguyễn Đinh chiếu sài gòn.

ベトナム生活。サイゴン(ホーチミン市)朝食の風景。家の近所です。

ラベル:ベトナム
posted by noraneko9999 at 10:21| Comment(0) | ベトナム動画 | このブログの読者になる | 更新情報をチェックする

bữa tối ベトナムでの生活 夕食

ベトナム生活。近所の夕食の風景です。いつもは家で食べています。
ラベル:ベトナム
posted by noraneko9999 at 10:20| Comment(0) | ベトナム動画 | このブログの読者になる | 更新情報をチェックする